The next day me and Luke woke up mega early on account of the jetlag and feasted on coffee and lucky charms, the world's greatest cereal. Seb and Steve got up and then we all got ready to go to a 7th birthday party at a petting zoo! Literally, the greatest birthday party I have ever been to. Bouncy castle, tractor ride, goats AND cake. Bloody brilliant. I'm thinking about having a kid just so I can do that every weekend legitimately. There were the cutest piglets which Gibson and Gabby (the twins) loved and we fed them loads of grass. It was SO cold! I didn't think I'd be in my coat and hat and scarf in Dallas, but it was freezing! Luckily the organised American moms had hot chocolate et al to warm us all up! We had a great time and I took a photo of Luke which is probably the most inappropriate photo ever taken at a children's birthday party:
Oh the humanity!
After the petting zoo, me and Seb went to the Paris abode (I think!) where I had my first meaty lunch of the holiday - tasty soup - and met Seb's bible study posse. We had tons of tasty food and watched a video of a woman who was pretty full on and lairy! Then we watched Miss Congeniality, shabba. The guys came back and we drove to Whole Foods to buy tasty mahi mahi and salad for tea and Luke was outraged by the organic Whole Foods priceyness, I was amazed by all the types of balsamic vinegar! We went home and cooked up the food, Luke got eye poisoned by evil onions, then we ate tea and watched Ugly Betty. Quality evening!
On Sunday we were all up super early for church, had more lucky charms and tons of coffee before setting off for Pantego. We went to the youth ministry and Seb and Steve started setting up the important stuff, me and Luke did some chair arranging and then went to play basketball with a small child who was far, far better at basketball than me! We played some games and ran around and had a whale of a time! Chatted to a lot of cool people, had a very awkward rendez-vous with Pierce (oh the humanity) and then headed to the main church for the service. So BIG! I can't believe how massive Pantego is! After the service me and Luke made a beeline for Shipley donuts (tastyo, and our first of many that day!) and then went to the youth service. After that, we met Sara and her ma Pat and headed to Nagoya for HABACHI!
YUM! It all got cooked on the table in front of us and it was amazing! After Nagoya, we drove back through Arlington and stopped off at Krispy Kreme even though we were all super full. We all got hats, and all picked out donuts, and then convinced a friendly KK worker to pose with us for a pic! He was completely up for it, but as soon as Seb took the pic his face dropped and he looks so upset to be photographed! What a confused young man. However, we did not let his confusion spoil our fun as we continued our drive stuffing our faces with donuts. We drove down to see Steve's homeless friend Doug who had just got back to Arlington and he talked to him for a while then he came to meet us which was cool. Afterwards we drove back to Seb and Steve's place, got in our slouch pants (SLOUCH!) and watched so much amazing tv- ANTM, Ugly Betty and Celebrity Apprentice in which Denis Rodman went mental! It is the most fun thing in the world being under the dolphin blanket with Seb watching trash!
Monday was Dallas day! Or D-Town as Texas locals call it, hence we did too. Steve and Luke went to breakfast with Doug and me and Seb had a lovely lazy girly morning in our pjs which was fab. When the guys got back we drove to Dallas and headed for the spot where JFK was assassinated and met a MENTAL conspiracy theorist covered in pidgeons! He showed us lots of gross autopsy pictures and spun us his theory on who shot JFK. We stayed for a while then backed away slowly....slowly..... After we left the freakshow, we got back in the car and drove to classy West Village for bourgeoisie shopping and very fancing lunching in a burger place which was amazing! Wicked burgers and sweet potato fries, yum.
Then we drove to a different area with a fab furniture place I can't remember the name of! But we had a good browse and found all sorts of beautiful yet expensive things to stock our future homes with. We drove towards the mall then, via a bridal shop so Seb could scout out purple bridesmaid dresses for Angelene! It was fun, never been to one before! Then we went to a wicked mall and had a really good wander round, stumbled upon an epic film premiere full of celebrities (probably) and went in tons of shops. That night we went for an amazing dinner at the Shipley's house, such good food! Was a really fun night, we played lots of games and showed the Shipley kids the joy of Funhouse on Youtube! Ahh Pat Sharpe, how we miss thee. We were really surprised at just how crap the prizes in the Funhouse were; a Funhouse pencil case and a weekend at Coronation St?! Lame! They seemed so good when we were young! We borrowed two of the Shipley's wii remotes and when we got home waged an epic MarioKart war! Steve and Luke were amazing, Seb was okay, I was rubbish. But this night was the start of hours and hours of MarioKart joy to follow!
Tuesday we all had a mega lie in after staying up til 2am playing Mario Kart, lounged around a lot in slouch pants - SLOUCH - and then played more Mario! Four controllers now - brutal! T'was brilliant. After our lazy morning we got ready and drove to Grapevine Mall for some shopping. On the way we played a great game where you have to name five things to do with a certain topic, Luke got baffled by apples and hence was mocked. The mall was epic and MASSIVE! Had a good stroll round, bought some random stuff, Seb bought a fierce ANTM style jacket and vogued round the changing rooms like a champ! Me and Luke went into a dollar shop where I bought Zac Efron calendars which were so budget they didn't have a December, no wonder they were buy one get one free! i got one for me and one for Lex which she loves more than life! Mine is proudly up in my kitchen and envied by all my neighbours, especially the guys downstairs. In the dollar shop Luke bought an Obama pen and asked the DOLLAR SHOP lady how much it was - shame!
In the evening we drove round to Terry and Wayne's for Igroup, where I went last time I was in Texas! Was good fun, was games night and we played Disney Scene It. Our team lost despite our aged wisdom to teams of small children who had freakish Disney knowledge and I think spent literally all their time swotting up on Disney movies. Hence we were the real winners, in life. I continued my carnivorous odyssey by eating a burger...seconds after meeting possibly the only vegetarian in Arlington. She was so distressed by my defection to the meaty side! But what can you do, I was hungry and it was tasty!
After the kids left we went for a joyride in Wayne's Mustang! All you want to do is ride around Sally, riiiiide Salllllly riiiiide! Bloody amazing! We went to the video shop to get some movies for our OKLAHOMA ADVENTURE the next day and then drove back to Terry and Wayne's to say mmmbye. Went back to Seb and Steve's where we, surprise surprise, played more Mario (I was still crap) and a new quiz game which Seb totally slaughtered everyone at! Curse her giant brain.
Wednesday we woke up super early for Ooooklahoma trip of joy! We set off at about 10 and the first stop on the road was the casino: most fun ever! We set ourselves a $1 budget which handily equated to 100 goes on a 1 cent slot machine, splendid! High rollers indeed! We were most excited by the free drinks on offer, and skipped around the casino like kids at Christmas (gambling kids!) It turned out Steve was the only one who was savvy enough to actually win anything. Me and Luke lost all our cash almost instantly and Seb had to be literally restrained from going on a very intriguing Ebay machine! She almost tricked us by pretending to go to the toilets and fleeing when our backs were turned, but no no no, she was caught and frog-marched from the premises!
We continued our road trip, continuing to mystery stop number two: the exotic animal park! Huzzah! It was like a safari! We arrived and stocked up on animal feed, oh what an error. It was basically like Jurassic Park but scarier. We were harassed by emus, aggressive ostrichs and llamas, even camels were getting in on the scaring action! We were edging the windows down an inch, chucking some feed out then retreating screeching as the animals tried to stick their heads in the car! Eep! It was constant vigilence because if you left a window down and unmanned, there was a good chance an emu would take your eye out. Frightening times! There were nice animals too though, the giraffes (what is the plural for giraffe?) were very cute.
After the park we headed to Pizza Hut where we had a wicked all American waitress who served us up tons of tasty food, I had pepperoni and chicken wings for meat of the day! Most delicious. After we were stuffed and sleepy we headed to Ada and we all fell asleep bar Steve, our most alert (luckily!) driver! We arrived at Charlotte and Melvin's house and it was huge, very exciting! They went to church and we played! Rode quad bikes, bicycles, tried a hazardous zip line and had buckets of fun. I made friends with a cat (CAT FRIEND) who subsequently peed on Luke, funniest thing in the world and all captured on video. Beautiful. We had a good roast for tea, then settled down in the epic movie room to watch ANTM, play Wii and watch Secret Life of Bees. Despite spending hours picking a movie in the video shop, me and Luke fell asleep about ten minutes in, d'oh! It was an excellent snooze though! Managed to somehow relocate to me and Seb's comfy bed at some point though for an even better sleep!
We woke up bright and early...or not so early...on Thursday and then went out in the pick-up with Charlotte! So much fun! We sat on the edge of the trailer and ducked trees as she drove us through the forest, before ending up at the lake where we had a stroll and emptied a load of water out of a boat. Glad our visit was productive! Then we drove back, saw one massive dog and one tiny dog which followed us all the way up the road! When we got home Charlotte made amazing almond pancakes with tons of syrup, tasty! And we converted her to tea- keeping it British. Next we had a guided tour of Ada in Charlotte's HUGE car, saw her church with the most amazing youth bit ever (it had EVERYTHING!) the high school, big fat houses and then went to Braums for big fat ice cream sundaes. It was great!
We drove back that evening, stopping at the casino again for another $1 flutter! Me and Luke lost everything (again) but Seb and Steve did ok and came away with a profit. At least some of us did! Me and Seb got a dirty subway on the way home, then we got back to the abode and mocked Luke's washbag and Hello Kitty flannel.....HA HA HA!
Friday was an amazing day! We had a lie in and then off to my favourite place: The Cheesecake Factory! Oh the joy. Our waiter was a dick but he brought us good food so we allowed it. We all had tasty strawberry lemonades and I had my portabello mushroom burger I had waited three years for, it was worth it! Then Steve Luke and I all had huge slices of cheesecake which were like poetry in motion in edible form. YUM. Seb thought she was going for the smaller option with a strawberry shortcake, but when it came it was literally as big as her head. Gutted! It was very tasty though. My cheesecake was white chocolate, caramel and macadamia nut....mmmm.
After we had all stuffed ourselves we went to Fort Worth- cowboy town! I found myself a new boyfriend, but it would never have worked for visa reasons. We had a wander round, went to a PESTLE AND MORTAR SHOP and saw all sorts of cowboy stuff. Luke was abused by an Indian beggar (strange!) and then we went to a shop full of fur, yuck! They had a stuffed ostrich, Oklahoma flashback! Afterwards we went into the centre of FW which was awesome and pretty. We went to see stand up improv called Four Day Weekend and it was great! You could give them lines of dialogue, and they took up a load of ours including, "So be it", "Sweet Merciful Zeus" and, the best, "Wasted like a douchebag!" Ha ha! After Four Day Weekend we went for a stroll round as the town was all lit up, I got a Jamba Juice and a FW Starbucks mug (tradition!) and it was mega. When we got home we played the Wii quiz once again (the most fun!!) and watched Juno which I fell asleep in all cosy in the dolphin blanket, the best blanket ever!
Saturday was going home day! Noooo! We woke up early and Luke woke up Seb and Steve with a spreadeagle! We packed up and had a tasty cooked breakfast which was well fancy, then did some last minute shopping in Walmart and other places to get odds and ends! We went to a coffee shop where Seb let me pick out my birthday present, an awesome necklace made from a scrabble tile! Brilliant! Then we headed to the airport, said our sad goodbyes :'( then me and Luke headed back to Britannia. We had a good flight, Luke loved his airplane dinner so much he had seconds, ha ha! And I watched Marley and Me and cried and cried like a douche. Sunday morning we arrived back in Heathrow, the end of our adventure! Sad times! But it was the greatest week!
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